Tuesday, March 13, 2007
at times i wish i didnt have a brother who was such an over-achiever.
at times i wish high standards werent the norm in my home.
it seems like the higher you go, good achievements would appear mediocre and you're expected to go even higher. maybe thats what
'Seeking to improve' means.
'Chase your dreams', thats what they all say when we were younger. & today, it suddenly occured to me why do adults even tell us that, when we grow up realising that reality is entirely different for dreams.
and then i realised, maybe thats why dreams are called dreams, and not reality. So does it matter that I've always wanted to be a vet since young? Does it matter that I wanted to pursue a business degree in SMU? it doesnt, because at the end of the day, when it comes to decision-making matters that impact my future, adults bombard me with advice which eventually convince me to go for something i didnt exactly desire. and no, my parents have never disallowed me from taking a business degree. but eventually, i still bid goodbye to what i like, and say hello to something unfamiliar.
So i figured fear is the thing that gets me. the insecurities of what the future holds, not knowing what lies ahead, the fear of being in an unfamiliar environment. perhaps that is why i always take the safe route, why i always give up on what i like/what i want, be it in academics/relationships/whatnots. call me a coward if you must, but somehow my head always overrules the heart. & i eventually end up taking the route that best assures me of something good ahead.
please tell me I'm doing the right thing;
xoxo 9:08 PM